Letting go of the reigns
Part 3: The Paradox of Trying to Find Freedom + Applying The Way To Modern Life
If you haven’t read part 1 or 2, I recommend you start there first. Click here to read Part 1 and here to read Part 2.
I spent many of my younger years riding horses. I was OBSESSED.
When I picture horses galloping across the vast expanse of an untouched landscape, I can FEEL freedom; Unbridled, wild and untamed.
Sometimes after a long ride back to the stables, I’d let go of the reigns. Sometimes I’d close my eyes. Depending on what horse I was riding it would be either a gentle walk or a fast gallop. No matter what, I always felt safe and trusted with all my being that we’d find our way home. And we always did.
Letting go of the reigns is how we can experience freedom.
Once we place our trust in nature and surrender to the flow and dance of life, we set ourselves free.
Freedom comes from releasing your grip
So many of us are unconsciously gripping at life. Holding on in fear of what might happen if we let go; Holding onto jobs, partners, friends, possessions and old ideals because it’s better the devil you know right?
Humans crave certainty, direction and conclusion. We hate not knowing and only have to look to science for proof of our perpetual need for answers.
Not knowing my life’s purpose was one of the answers that seemingly evaded me for most of my adult life. The unanswered call for direction created a gaping hole of doubt. All I wanted was to know what path to take. I wanted certainty that each step I took would lead me towards the vision I had for myself.
And that’s the paradox. The more I searched for freedom the less freedom I had. I clung to the concept of what I thought it meant to be free. I quit jobs, ended relationships, packed up all of my belongings and left the country; Convinced that I’d be finally free!
This experience is how I know freedom has nothing to do with what’s outside of us.
In the West, freedom is typically associated with being free from external constraints. Attaining it requires that we have the means to overcome these constraints. Having a passport gives us the freedom to travel. Having access to money gives us freedom of choice. A healthy body gives us the freedom to move. Freedom is achieved from favourable external conditions.
That’s what we’re told to believe!
The true path to freedom has nothing to do with removing or overcoming external constraints. True freedom is experienced when we release our stories about what these constraints mean to us and recognise how our internal stories are why we’re not feeling in harmony with our external world.
The meaning we make of things is everything.
Daoism teaches us to release our judgement of things to experience peace - freedom.
“If you close your mind in judgments and traffic with desires, your heart will be troubled. If you keep your mind from judging and aren't led by the senses, your heart will find peace”.
-Tao Te Ching, Chapter 52. Translated by Stephen Mitchell.
This path to freedom is the path of The Tao
Sometimes referred to as The Way, the path of The Tao teaches us that freedom begins with the realisation that the more we cling to or expect something to be a certain way, the less free we are; If we have preconceived ideas or focus on what outside of ourselves is preventing us from our needs and desires, we cannot be free.
So, how do we align with The Tao to experience freedom? The wise words of Winnie the Pooh can offer some simple guidance.
To know the Way We go the Way We do the Way The way we do The things we do It's all there in front of you But if you try too hard to see it You'll only become confused. - From the Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
So, to experience freedom we must remove resistance and let go of the attachments we grip onto. As explained by Pooh, the way to freedom is in the non-efforting; A concept known as Wu Wei in Chinese. (I’ll share more on Wu Wei another time).
Yoga offers a similar message in Patanjali’s teaching of Aparigraha. Often translated as non-attachment, I’ve come to prefer the tone of it as the opposite of attachment, which is in its essence, freedom.
There is so much we can learn from these ancient teachings.
I’m most interested in how we can apply this wisdom to our modern-day lives.
As much as I find peace in the idea of releasing all attachments. I am familiar with my humanness and the strong will so my ego!
For me, The Tao is like a guiding light, illuminating the path of least resistance. At times when my attachments and desires feel strong and wild, rather than try to remove and fight against them, I can simply become more aware. From this place of openness, I can then choose a different path.
For example:
Two years ago I had a passport and I still couldn’t travel. The conditions of my green card meant that leaving the USA without permission would bar me from being allowed back in. At the time it felt like I had lost my freedom. I felt stuck and imprisoned. Instead of languishing in my suffering, I COULD have redirected my attention to all the ways I was free. I was free to travel inside the country. I was free to live the life I longed to live. Once I released my grip, my travel visa arrived!
Since leaving my corporate job, I’ve created far less money to do the things I want to do. There have been times when it’s felt frustrating, limiting and restrictive. I've focused intently on my lack INSTEAD of choosing to focus on finding joy and pleasure in the things I can do and the magical life I am creating. Once I began rewriting some of my deep-rooted money stories and noticing all the abundance in my life, opportunities for soul-aligned work seemed to appear from nowhere!
I continue to learn so much from the teachings of Yoga & Daoism. They offer me a perspective that aligns with how my spirit wants to explore this human experience. They provide ways of perceiving the world that are helping me experience the freedom I feel is within me.
My intention for this space on Substack is to share my perspectives on how we can experience more Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual and Financial freedom with some help from this ancient wisdom.
If this interests you too, I hope you’ll continue to join me here.
If you made it to the end of his post and read the 2 before, please share with me something that resonated most with you. I’m curious and I want to get to know you :)
Until next time. Let's live, one breath at a time.
Farah x
Ive found it to always be a fine line between letting go and changing the story of what is and also taking action to actively change your circumstances.