How a Subconscious Message Changed My Direction
Part 2: Releasing the Weight of Responsibility, Redefining Purpose + 4 Things I Wouldn't Usually Share Here
Welcome to part 2 of this story. If you haven’t read part 1, I recommend you start here first.
Last week I began Mike Dillard’s, Richer Everyday Course. This is the kind of activity I would usually keep behind closed doors because it doesn’t really ‘fit’ with what I previously decided should be my outward-facing identity.
For the things I want to do and the impact I want to have money is essential. ESPECIALLY in the USA!
Given my deep-rooted stories about financial scarcity, I decided it was about time to figure out how to attract more of it!
Module 1 of the course reflects Mike’s take on the importance of our relationship with money from a mind and body perspective; this is what caught my attention.
Whilst I don’t align with all of what I perceive as Mike’s values, I do believe that learning about how our stories and fears impact our ability to match us with financial abundance is the only way to true financial freedom.
A few videos in and it got really interesting!
The class was called “Discover Your Subconscious Programs About Money...”
Following 15 mins of down-regulating breathwork, I was to take a pen to paper and ask my subconscious to reveal what it would like to share with me today.
After 10-15 minutes of random drawing (lots of spirals) with the occasional word coming to the surface, my subconscious revealed something that stopped me dead in my tracks. The recollection of a childhood memory that delivered the message,
“My purpose is not to teach, it is to be free”.
Now, if you read part 1 and know my back story, you’ll know I’ve been following the path of teaching for the past 4 years, believing so intently that this was my purpose; My dharma. The North Star that had been revealed to me after so many years of longing for direction.
The message ‘not to teach’ was met with a lot of resistance from the parts of me that have attached to the identity of a teacher.
It revealed this feeling deep in my body; I’ve been carrying the weight of a story that teaching others was a responsibility. My responsibility. And with it came the responsibility to show up a certain way.
It’s no wonder I’ve kept pivoting; Pivoting away from the weight of responsibility. Honestly, it also shows the arrogance that parts of me have, believing I can be responsible for another human’s path. Such is the ego!
Anyway, what I’m realising is that until I can truly release myself from the binds of responsibility, I’m going to lean deeper into this new discovery and release all the titles and the labels and the expectations on myself to deliver against promises of what I’ve previously said I’m here to do.
My purpose is freedom. My purpose is to experience boundless joy. From now on, I’m giving myself the freedom to play outside of the box.
This starts with me sharing what I’ve been up to, not as a teacher, but as me.
Here goes…
Where curiosity has taken me this past week
Reading Dr. Jon Connelly’s book on Rapid Resolution Therapy
It’s said that the RRT approach can create true lasting change after just 1 session, which goes against the grain of most other psychotherapy offerings. I’m curious to discover how it works!
Deep-diving into crypto trading
Crypto gets a lot of bad press and triggers a lot of fear in people. It’s not a perfect system, yet I fully subscribe to the foundational principles of decentralised finance. I’m not interested in the live-to-work and save-for-retirement model so I’m looking at crypto as another revenue-generating stream.
Unravelling my money stories
As well as working my way through ‘Richer Everyday’, I’m also reading Kate Northrup’s book, Money a Love Story to get curious about and improve my relationship with money. I’m going deeper than I’ve dared before and noticing the positive impacts.
[Pulling the curtain on my deep subconscious] I’ve put wealthy people on a pedestal!!
Experimenting with AIP (Auto Immune Protocol)
I haven’t been ‘diagnosed’ with autoimmune, however, the protocol is designed to be anti-inflammatory and that’s what I’m most interested in right now. Holistic, natural and sustainable living is a HUGE part of my life. So I’ll do anything I can to keep my body naturally healthy and in harmony. Right now, it feels out of balance.
While none of these appear directly related to the work you’d expect from a Yoga/Breathwork teacher, each shares a similar foundational theme, not dissimilar from the primary teachings of Yoga. The theme that drives me.
Freedom.
That’s what I’m most passionate about.
Learning, embodying and then sharing my understanding of the concepts and practices that can help us all achieve the freedom we want.
Sometimes Freedom feels like such a big dream, so far out of reach. What it takes to be truly free requires alignment and harmony in all of these aspects of the human experience; Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual. And although this one is an aspect of our relationship to something outside of ourselves, I’d also say Financial. I have yet to meet anyone who isn’t interested in aspiring for financial freedom.
So, where do we begin if we want to experience more freedom?
I’ll share my take on that in Part 3, tomorrow. Until then…
What about you?
What’s your understanding of freedom? I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments!
Until next time. Let's live, one breath at a time.
Farah x
Yes to freedom! And maybe with it comes a sense of wonder and discovery and the understanding that it’s ok to change our minds and pivot from whatever whenever