Untethering Who I Am From What I Do
Part 1: Unshackling from Identities + Stepping Outside of the Box
I hesitated in sending this email.
The words flowed out of me faster than any other newsletter I’ve ever written, yet a part of me wasn’t ready to share it. I told myself that doing so would probably render all of my drafts and ideas for future writing, somewhat redundant.
It felt like a waste.
But shortly after, I felt this wave of freedom. I had to send it!
So here goes…
You see, over the past 4 years, I’ve been exploring the depths of personal transformation. I’ve awoken hidden parts of myself that I’d long forgotten. I’ve found new energy, vitality and pleasure in living. And I’ve broken bread with my shadow more times than I thought I could bear. All while embarking on a new career and building a business rooted in my values.
Along this journey, my self-identity has evolved and shape-shifted at every pivotal point where a new teaching has planted roots in my soul. I have been so hungry to learn and so open to new ideas that with every new wave of realisation and conscious awakening a new shoot appears in the fertile soil of my inner world and transforms me into something new.
What I’ve been hiding from until now is the truth that I’ve been in a perceptual state of seeking acceptance for these new versions of myself by creating outwards facing identities for others to validate me by.
Yoga Teacher, Embodiment Teacher, Breathwork Teacher, Holistic Embodiment Coach and Mentor…and so on…
Cloaking myself in a socially accepted identity that marries me, Farah, to what I do for work feels as uncomfortable now as it did when I identified as a Fashion Designer, Start-up co-founder or Advertising Director; Despite being so deeply passionate about the work I do now in the wellness space.
None of these new identities I’ve housed myself under has ever felt generous and expansive enough for the depths of what I want to share, yet I’ve tried to confine myself to their box. A niche as the marketers would put it.
I’ve tried to give myself labels and structure.
I’ve created identities that have felt good and empowering to one part of me and obligatory and necessary to another.
Perhaps you’ve had a similar experience.
Again and again, I’ve reigned myself back, muzzling the voice of freedom and wild expression.
The part of me, who since childhood, longs to be ‘someone’ doing ‘something of value’ grips on tightly every time I try to take a step outside of the box.
I’ve been influenced by the influencers. I see them performing and succeeding so well in their lane. People understand what they do, what they’re about, what they offer and how to work with them. Yoga teachers teach Yoga. Breathwork teachers teach Breathwork.
I get it. Clarity in the message creates trust and makes the exchange of money for services smooth and easy. A part of me wants that.
And yet my heart feels restless in this cage of singular identity that ties me to my work. I wrestle with the idea that I have to stick to the same thing for people to understand what I’m about and how I can be of service.
For every part of me that believes that enigmatic, energetic attraction is a more powerful way to connect with humans than sticking to a niche and using marketing finesse, more parts yell at me saying that I’ll end up at the bottom of the heap, rejected and living in poverty if I don’t follow the rules and stay in at least one lane!
Yet, I want to be free to explore, experiment and play with every new teaching and embody the wisdom that rushes into my veins. I want to share my love for Yoga, Breathwork, Somatic Embodiment and Qi Gong. AND I want to talk about nutrition, money, travel, art, being a woman and what it feels like to be ‘starting over’ at 40. I want to get deep into topics that light up my soul; Daoism, Tantra, parts work, sustainability, beautiful objects, slow living and the mess of our modern food and health systems.
Writing this makes me giddy with excitement!
And that’s the only signal I need from my body to know I’m on the aligned path. It’s finally time to unshackle myself and share more about what else sets my soul on fire.
Underneath the teacher identity, I am an eternal student; Always learning, trying, failing, growing, and expanding. That’s the part of me I want to share.
Sound good?
Want to come along for the ride?
Check your inbox tomorrow for Part 2 and I’ll share the catalyst for this wake-up call!
Until next time. Let's live, one breath at a time.
Farah x
i'm consistently amazed at how many writers i'm finding here on substack who share similar sentiments to me but are expressing them in different ways. I just published a poem that coincides with what you're saying about letting go of your identities: https://elizabethgracemartinez.substack.com/p/theres-a-lot-of-clinging
i'm pretty amazed I randomly clicked on your page from another writer's list of 38 "reads" and i found something that parallels my recent thoughts. it feels like the universe is lining things up a lot lately.
Energy follows intention :) Your experience on Substack sounds so similar to mine and I’m so grateful for Universal alignment.
It’s seemed so effortless to discover and connect with like-hearted souls here.
Thank you for sharing your poem. It resonated a lot 🙏